It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Today I want to talk about negative thoughts. I’m very passionate about this topic and have been for a long time. I think it’s especially important right now, with everything that’s going on, and all the feelings and emotions that may be coming up for you, for all of us. 5 years ago when I started my business I quickly noticed a trend, people were afraid to have negative thoughts. I wanted to know where this fear came from and scoured the internet. I noticed another trend whilst scouring, particularly in my field, a narrative about predominantly thinking positive thoughts in order to be happy & live the life you want. Before I say anything else, let me say that I fully encourage a positive mindset, I think it’s an incredible mindfulness tool, BUT YOU’RE ALSO HUMAN & IT’S OKAY TO HAVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS! 

Let me say it again for the people in the back… IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY!

When I coach clients about negative thoughts & emotions my line of thinking is this; let the thought come up, acknowledge it & then ask questions. You can learn a lot about yourself during this process of self-discovery. Why did I have this thought? Where did it come from? What’s going on in my life or in this moment to make me feel this way? Maybe you need a good cry. Maybe you need to scream into a pillow. Take a long shower. Have some time alone. Go for a long walk. Maybe you need to meditate, journal, or talk to a therapist. Thoughts will come and go, it’s part of the human condition, so let them come, acknowledge them, process them, and then deal with them in real time. For me, when coaching, it’s not about the thought, it’s about how long you live in that negative state. You can’t live there, that’s not good for health, but shoving all your feelings down isn’t good for your health either. You need to process feelings and emotions as they come up. So here’s how I do it:

I have a negative thought 😟

I acknowledge it – I see you… 👀🧠

I ask questions; Where did you come from? Why are you bumping around in my head? What’s going on in my life right now that bred this thought? Okay, I think I have enough information, now what?

I need tools to help me process these uncomfortable feelings & emotions. What tools are available to me, that will also work for me? 

PAUSE… I can give you a list of 10,000 incredible tools, but the trick is, you have to pick ones that resonate with you so you’ll do them, commit to them, come back to them & and they actually provide results for you. So find what works for you, the following are just a few suggestions…

You could process your feelings via journaling, meditating, physical movement, discussing struggles with a friend or therapist, getting outside, taking a day off to rest and recover, etc. There are so many incredible tools out there to help you process feelings in real time! Carve some time out of your day to find the tools that work best for you.

Moral of the story, IT’S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY, especially right now! Give yourself the freedom to feel whatever you need to feel. Then process those feelings, and move on. You can be grateful that you’re not sick, while also feeling afraid of losing your job. You can be thankful that your fridge is full of food, while also feeling really sad that you can’t go to dinner with friends and family. It’s all okay. It does not mean you’re a demon spawn from hell, you’re just human 👽

For the entire month of April I am offering new clients the opportunity to pay what you can for virtual coaching sessions in meditation, mindfulness, breathwork & yoga. Now more than ever we need to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves both physically & mentally. I’d love to help you through this incredibly hard time. You can sign up for your FREE consultation below. Be well & take care of each other ❤️

Book a session today! You may fill out our contact form, call us at 323-849-0039 or shoot us an email

Photo: @jessicaczarneckiphoto


S = Stop⁠⠀

T = Take a breath⁠⠀

O = Observe⁠⠀

P = Proceed⁠⠀

⁠Anytime you start to feel stress or anxiety creep up use the acronym, STOP!!!⁠⠀

⁠Stop! Take a nice deep inhale through the nose. Notice how the air is cool as it enters the nostrils. Now take a nice long exhale out of the nose. Notice that the air is now warm. Take another deep breath in through the nose, but this time on your exhale open the mouth and let it go, finding release and relaxation. Observe where you are. Observe your thoughts and emotions. Observe how the physical body feels. Now proceed. ⁠⠀

⁠Use this acronym any time you feel the need to bring your body and mind back into balance.⁠⠀

⁠I have found that this simple little exercise has taught me how to respond to stress more effectively. It allows me to have more control over how I react and shortens the amount of time stress and anxiety has “control” over the present moment. ⁠⠀

⁠Save this blog post so you can come back to it anytime stress or anxiety starts creeping up, and share it with others that might find it useful. Happy Monday.

Book a session today! You may fill out our contact form, call us at 323-849-0039 or shoot us an email

Photo by: @jessicaczarneckiphoto